How to Support Parents Who Lost a Child: Comforting Bereavement Gifts

Find comforting gift ideas to support parents who lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or after birth.

I remember the day so clearly, as if it happened yesterday. I sat with my friend, who had just gone through an unimaginable loss, and I reached out for her hand as I choked back tears. “No one’s going to remember my baby,” she sobbed. No matter how hard I tried to focus, my mind raced as I thought, “What can I do?” “How can I ease her pain?” My friend’s heart was breaking and I felt so helpless.

Ever since that little stick turned positive, she dreamed of the day she could hold her little one. Miscarriage shattered that dream, leaving an aching emptiness in her arms as well as her heart.

Most of us have someone in our lives who has suffered a terrible loss. It can break your heart to watch someone you care for go through such heartache. We have no idea what to say or do to comfort them, because what do you say in a situation like that?

If you are at a loss as to how to help after a death, 10 Ways to Help a Grieving Loved One has several easy suggestions for you to provide comfort without having to shop for a gift.

Whether mom lost her child before birth or after, the grief is oppressive. Having loving friends and family to provide support is essential. If you can, provide physical help through meals, bereavement gifts, and hugs, as well as emotional support by offering to sit and listen. Many moms want to hear their baby’s name, talk about them, and celebrate them. Whatever you do to help will be appreciated. 

Gifts for Parents Who’ve Lost a Child to Miscarriage

Often parents who’ve miscarried want something special to commemorate their little one – a keepsake that acknowledges the life of the child they carried in their hearts, if not in their arms. Here are some comforting miscarriage gift ideas sure to become treasured keepsakes.

Memory bears

Memory bears from Kidderbug Kreations are a unique miscarriage bereavement gift. With so many styles available and so many options to make it a truly personalized gift, you’ll be able to find the perfect fit for the grieving parents. If the baby was named, have the bear personalized with a name and date to make it a treasured keepsake honoring the short life of their precious angel. 

Memory pillows/blankets

Another option for a loss of child sympathy gift is a blanket parents can snuggle. Infant Loss Memorial with a Grieving Heart and Baby Loss Memorial Heart with a quote from St. Zelie Martin are two popular options Kidderbug Kreations offers that can be personalized with baby’s name and date if known. 

MK (name not used to protect privacy) contacted me after the heartbreaking miscarriage of 3 babies. She longed to hold her little ones, but in the absence of that, found comfort in the thought of holding a pillow embroidered with their names. As a result, Miscarriage Memorial Gift was designed for women who have lost multiple pregnancies. Each baby’s name is carefully embroidered beside tiny footprints along the border of a heart which says, “Grief only exists where love lived first.”

Memorial jewelry

Although jewelry isn’t something you can snuggle, many women appreciate a special piece of jewelry.

A simple piece with the baby’s birthstone is a wonderful gift idea for moms who’ve lost a child. It allows them to remember the baby but not have to talk about it unless they want to.

Blue Lion Products laser engraves baby’s name on their stainless steel Personalized Pillar Bar Necklace for a touching sympathy gift. Check out their website to see other personalized gifts for parents who’ve lost a child.

Designs by Krista Marie also creates personalized pieces incorporating names and dates.

Gift of time

If you can’t afford a “gift,” volunteer your time. A meal is always appreciated and makes it one less thing parents need to deal with during the stressful time. If you can, arrange a meal train with neighbors, coworkers, or other friends so they’ll have coordinated meals for a couple of weeks. If cooking isn’t your thing, you can even use Meal Train for gift cards to restaurants. 

Gifts for Parents Who’ve Lost a Child to Stillbirth

“She is literally living her worst nightmare.”

MW will never forget finding out her best friend was in the hospital in labor. “It took a day and a half to deliver her baby and she knew she was going to deliver a stillborn the whole time.” Having no idea what to do or say, she and a group of friends decided to celebrate baby’s birthday each month with a gift for mom. 

Here are some heartwarming bereavement gift ideas for parents who’ve lost a child to stillbirth.

Weighted memory bears

A memory bear weighted to match the weight of your friend’s stillborn is one of the most touching gifts you could give. Have it made from an outfit you or mom already had for baby. Personalize it with the baby’s name and birthdate. It’s a gift-able hug they’ll treasure forever. 

Memory pillows/blankets

The My Child Did Exist or The Book of Life are two popular options for the loss of a child. Both give a grieving mom something to hold and can be personalized with a name and date as well. 

Memorial jewelry

Blue Lion Products is able to laser engrave baby’s actual footprints along with the name and date for a truly meaningful gift. 

Designs by Krista Marie is another option for unique custom jewelry with baby’s name and date.

Gift of time

A meal train is another wonderful way to help parents who’ve experienced the devastation of a stillbirth. Eliminating the hassle of having to decide what’s for supper is a huge relief. 

If you can, spend time listening to their story. A listening ear and the gift of time is a precious gift. 

Gifts for Parents Who’ve Lost a Child After Birth

The call came just as I was rushing around getting my kids ready for school. Answering, I heard the dreaded words.

He’s dead.

My thoughts raced as I struggled to understand how my nephew could be gone. He was just a kid.

The pain and agony watching his parents bury him were overwhelming. My way of helping them through the grief was through quilts made from his clothes. 

To express your love and support consider these gifts for parents who have lost a child after birth.

Flowers

Of course, the first thought of gifts for parents who’ve lost a child is flowers. And while they are a kind, thoughtful gesture, they often become one more “thing” that needs to be dealt with. What do you do with all those flowers after the funeral? If you want to give gifts more meaningful than flowers, here are a few options to consider. 

Memory bears

Memory bears are particularly wonderful if the parents have surviving children. The natural instinct is to hold and cuddle a teddy bear. 

Studies have shown that hugs, even from an inanimate object like a memory bear, 

• give an instant feeling of closeness and decrease the sense of loneliness
• elevate the mood by releasing serotonin
• reduce the fear of death
• stimulate oxytocin, which helps promote feelings of contentment and reduces anxiety and stress
• lower cortisol to give better sleep quality

Kids are comforted by hugs, and memory bears made from clothing of a loved one are sure to keep the memories of their departed sibling alive while giving them something to physically hold. It’s a keepsake they will treasure forever. 

Books

Books for siblings can be a thoughtful gift as well. Parents who have lost a child are dealing with their own overwhelming grief, yet are still trying to comfort their living children.

I highly recommend Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss by Pat Schwiebert. It was such a tremendous help for my girls after the death of their cousin. We even gifted a copy to my daughter’s classroom to help them understand her grief.

The other book I highly recommend for surviving siblings is When Someone Very Special Dies by Marge Heegaard. It allows children to understand the concept of death and learn coping skills by drawing out their feelings. 

Memory pillows

A memory pillow made from shirts is another tangible item that can be held and hugged, providing those same healing benefits of hugs discussed earlier. Have it personalized with a special loved one in heaven quote. A memory pillow is a terrific bereavement gift idea that incorporates the clothing of the deceased child. Use a favorite t-shirt, sweater, or another item of clothing that has special meaning.

Jewelry

Blue Lion Products can laser engrave a quote, name, and even the child’s handwriting on a lovely piece of jewelry.

Designs by Krista Marie is able to make jewelry from ashes or incorporate a vial of ashes into a unique jewelry piece. She also creates photo/memory jewelry as a wonderful reminder of their angel. 

For anyone who lost a child to disease, check out Revive Jewelry. They’re all about taking power back from disease and using it to create positive change. Each design is a cut-out photo, based on cellular images of the disease that affected the child, encased in resin, giving it a shiny stone-like quality. They also donate 10% to research for that specific disease.

Gift of time

A meal train would be greatly appreciated after the loss of an older child. There are so many details to deal with after a death and planning a meal shouldn’t have to be one of them. 

Additional Resources for Grief Support

A Collection of Sympathy Messages and Condolence Quotes and A Guide for Writing a Sympathy Note may help you find the words you need to provide support and comfort to your grieving friend or family member.

Also, be sure to check out the free resource guide Loving through Loss: Resources for Grief Support.

Kidderbug Kreations and the other small businesses listed absolutely LOVE the connections we make with our customers helping them get the perfect gift for parents who lost a child. Let us know how we can help you support them with a memorable gift to last a lifetime.